Queen of Pentacles

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Interested in reading an excerpt from Seasons Change and So Do We book 2 called,  "The Beast In Theze Streetz"? 

Well, here you go...

Broken down from the floor up is all I was while he was here and even more when he left. I knew it was for the best but as time crept by all I could feel was more heart pain. Seeing the sun seemed so far fetched for all I could see were the gray clouds. If only I can make it til tomorrow. If only I can make it til tomorrow.

Tomorrow comes and then I secretly say to myself again, “If only I can make it til tomorrow. I will make it til tomorrow.” I can't explain my experience with this monster whom only seem/seemed to see his own pain...his own experience(s) with me but not mine. I know him so well.

He's only a pawn making me pay for past discretion with someone else in another life way before us. Getting into that past part of my life is for another time yet is so relevant to “why” so much pain exists today.

I'm strong.

I'm the Queen of Pentacles. There is nothing I can't be, know, or do. It's only a matter of me making it til tomorrow.

I find myself getting stronger day by day

I know he's feeling the loss of me because he LOVEs me... I'm the Queen of Pentacles.

I'm not bragging. Why should I? Not while living in this mess.

There is no reason to brag. Believe it or not, I just accepted who I am although many knew and felt I knew her all the time.

I did not.

Really. I knew there was something oh so special in me and all around me.

Thank God she was there/is here.

Thank God!

Without the shadow of the Queen walking where I have walk(ed), only she and God knows where I would be. I need this moment of the Queen's full debut. Right now. Give me a glimpse once again Queen.

She has been showing up more and more each day and staying by my side longer and longer.

The season of embracing her, oh yes,

my Queen-ness is right around the corner. I'll call her forth with the voice of my soul.

I'll breathe in and out daily beckoning her love, wisdom, beauty, and peace to come forth.

She is here. She is here. She lives here.

I must grab all of her. She awaits my grasp. I know she does. I feel she does. She always has and always will. There is a secret she must reveal.

She tells me of all the abuse I've endured at the hands of me and at the hands of him. The abuse was spiritual she says. I can't go back to such abuse. There is no surviving repeated visitation of abuse, she says.

No more!

I hear her say, Even a queen's heart dies under that kind of attack.

“Remember,” the queen says to me very discretely,

Remember that you are...

a mature spiritually grounded female, a businesswoman, with a high social status/a social butterfly, generous, loyal, prosperous, successful, financially independent, financially stable, wealthy, sexy, a homemaker, likes the finer things in life, down to earth, organized, sensible, practical, no-nonsense, kind, welcoming, nurturing, a healer, and most of all...a wonderful mother.

Seasons Change and So Do We